smell the world

It is fascinating to discover,experience and remember the world in its smells.
Now my world smells of spring.
You may ask "What does spring smell of?".
Well...can't describe it. When you fill your lungs with air, u just know it is spring smell, just like when u know it is winter smell, when you inhale snowy, freezing oxygen in winter.
Places smell as differently as people...
I miss the smell of India - the amazing mixture of inscense sticks, spices, rotting garbage, shit, heat and the mingled odours of hundreds of human bodies. Like all other things - the smell of this world is intense and dramatic, overwhelming. Almost unreal.
Here, at home, aromas are more subtle, harder to get hold of. They can pass unnoticed. Yet it is so beautiful to catch the fleeting aroma of a blossomed tree.

sufi love haiku

1.
Here I mourn and fast
Yet behind the veil my love
Waits for me, naked.

2.
Possessing you,
I Shall not be me but you -
Who will then be I?

3.
Closer than each breath,
For you I look everywhere:
Where are you hiding?

I am fascinated by Sufism. And these beautiful verses of Rumi.

letters

I miss writing and reading letters on paper...
Anyone interested to be my pen-pal :)?

the dark knight and the light one

two knights live in her heart
the dark one brings tears in her eyes every time
makes her wake up at night and fear
the light one makes her smile
love life and live, after all and above all
who is the one to win over her heart?
and what happens to the defeated one?

heartography

this is a worldmap
with the pieces of my heart scattered over it

spring coolage

spring is coming and inspiration tags along...
here is a coolage I made today

a leather bound journal
a nice light and healthy breakfast
funny patchwork rabbit-like doll
colourful cushions
warm, Maroccan style interior
and this fragile-looking NY girl,that is cuddling in her coat against the last winter-chills of March

waiting

Whoever said patience is a virtue was an extremely wise man.
The whole weight of the saying I have learned to carry recently.
waiting...
with no deadlines ahead
no clarity
no commitments and no promises
just storng belief and hope that if it is meant to happen, it will
life will do the best for me.

still it feels
like jumping from the edge of a cliff with your back turned to the dark abyss below
I don't know how long the fall will last
and will I land up in the cold, refreshing embrace of water
the rough touch of a solid rock
or the tender caress of a cushion

"I soar across the dark void of “the past is gone; the future is not yet here.” I have come to believe that is the only place that real change happens."

This is the time to face myself.
Not the deadlines, but the lack of deadlines defines me now.

Love, poetry and origami

I recently found a present from a beloved friend.
A book with oriental love poems and beautiful origami.
Pure pleasure for the soul...



On a rainy Night to You Up North

You ask for a homecoming date but still there is no date,

on Mount Bashan the late night rain swells the autumn lake.

When will you and I trim a candle by the bedroom window again,

and chat about Mount Bashan and the late night rain?

/Li Shangyin, 813-58, China/



Then let us pledge a friendship

without human ties

And meet again at the

far end of the Milky Way

/Li Po, 701-62,China/



I have always regretted the shallowness of words

Compared with the depth of human hearts,

Today the two of us look at one another,

Silently, but with feelings a hundredfold.

/Liu Yu-hsi, 772-842, China/

rehab

I wanted to post this song for a long time
Every word of the lyrics falls into place...
Just a coincidence?
Or...

Baby, baby
When we first met
I never felt something so strong
You were like my lover
And my best friend
All wrapped into one
With a ribbon on it
And all of a sudden
You went, left
I didn't know how to follow
It's like a shot
That spun me around
And now my heart left
I feel so empty and hollow

And I'll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you
Don't even recognize
The ways you hurt me
Do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame

And now I feel like, oh
You're the reason
Why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke on
These cigarettes no more
I guess that's what I get
For wishful thinking
I should've never let you enter my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
Cause now I'm using like I bleed

It's like I checked into rehab and
Baby, you're my disease
It's like I checked into rehab and
Baby, you're my disease

I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease

Damn,
Ain't it crazy when you're love swept?
You'll do anything for the one you love
'Cause anytime that you needed me
I'd be there
It's like you were my favorite drug
The only problem is
That you was using me
In a different way that I was using you
But now that I know, it's not meant to be
You gotta go, I gotta ween myself off of you

And I'll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you
Don't even recognize
The ways you hurt me
Do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame


And now I feel like, oh
You're the reason
Why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke on
These cigarettes no more
I guess that's what I get
For wishful thinking
I should've never let you enter my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
Cause now I'm using like I bleed

long time no sea

I am going to the sea after a long time.
I saw it last in December 2007.
Yes, I saw the ocean in October last year...but it is not the same.
It was not my sea...tamed by the memories of so many hours, spent with precious people.
I didn't have the time to tame the ocean. I just took the memory of the deserted beach. Of people, I had got to know a day before, but my inner self felt like I have always known them. Of those rare moments of bliss when you are not thinking, just being.
Nevermind...
The sea. I am looking forward to seeing it. Smelling it. Feeling the cold wind blow through me (I have never been on very friendly terms with this wind). Breathing life.
It will be a long-craved home-coming.

I wish I could live by the sea some day.