Love is noise...

I have been writing a lot about love in this blog lately...
I just don't understand why people take it so literally when u talk about love.
It spreads so much further than being in a relationship. Maybe the word has lost its meaning of so frequent usage...Every moment millions say "I love you" without even meaning it.But what does "Love" mean anyways?I do not know. Or rather...I only know one of its faces.
Here is a song for you:


Will those feet in modern times
Walk on soles that are made in China?
Feel the bright prosaic malls
In the corridors that go on and on and on

Are we blind - can we see?
We are one - incomplete
Are we blind - In the shade
Waiting for lightning - to be saved
Cause love is noise and love is pain
Love is these blues that I’m singing again
Love is noise and love is pain
Love is these blues that I’m singing again, again, again

Will those feet in modern times
Understand this world’s affliction
Recognise the righteous anger
Understand this world’s addiction

I was blind - couldn’t see
What was here in me
I was blind - insecure
I felt like the road was way too long, yeah
Cause love is noise and love is pain
Love is these blues that I’m feeling again
Love is noise and love is pain
Love is these blues that I’m feeling again
Love is noise, love is pain
Love is these blues that I’m singing again
Love is noise, love is pain
Love is these blues that I’m singing again, again, again, again, again, again

Cause love is noise, love is pain
Love is these blues that I’m feeling again
Love is noise, love is pain
Love is these blues that I’m feeling again
Love is noise, love is pain
Love is these blues that I’m feeling again
Love is noise, love is pain
Love is these blues that I’m feeling again
Come on, come on, ah come on, ah come on
Now come on, now come on, now come on
Now come on

Will those feet in modern times
Walk on soles made in China?
Will those feet in modern times
See the bright prosaic malls?
Will those feet in modern times
Forgive me all my sins
Love is noise
Come on

Friday, I'm in love

low

the sky was low today
i was waiting for a storm that never came
tired of the thick, tense air
almost feeling the solitude sticking to my skin
missing people
feeling distant
not a part of the puzzle
or part of a different puzzle
feeling that love is more evasive than ever
i so much need a God's sign these days
but i am probably too shortsighted to find it in little everyday things
but as it is said in one of my favourite songs
"it's a new dawn, it's a new day and i'm feeling good"
let's see what the new dawn brings :)

rainy

it has been raining restlessly for the past almost 20 hours
it's like livin in an underwater world
the only thing that i am thinking of the whole day is a nice, cosy place
a cup of thick hot chocolate and long easy-going conversation about life with someone i have just discovered
tomorrow we are all going to this amazing Mocha place - i fell in love even before i have stepped in
the whole melancholic mood of this week that went down the drain like a dream
makes me think of an ella fitzdjerald song that boris had given me.

Everytime we say goodbye, I die a little,
Everytime we say goodbye, I wonder why a little,
Why the Gods above me, who must be in the know.
Think so little of me, they allow you to go.
When you're near, there's such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There's no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to
minor,
Everytime we say goodbye.

When you're near, there's such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There's no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to
minor,
Everytime we say goodbye

Have a good weekend...

Kiss me goodnight...

Kiss me goodnight...
long enough...
i will guide you out of this world.
take my hand and play with my fingers.
as long as I want to...or long enough...you will know.
kiss my fingertips
one by one
touch my palms with your lips
let me feel your warm breath going up my arms...caressing my shoulders...moving my untidy hair
stop and linger for a while
let me look in your smiling eyes
smile
close your eyes
we are so close that your face is almost touching mine
stay like this for a while
keep your eyes closed
then slowly...as if hesitating
find my lips
cover them with tiny tiny kisses
then bite them
.....use your imagination to wish me "sweet dreams"
Good night my dear.

Natural drugs

On a Saturday morning, a list of 45 things that really make u happy...

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they LOVE you
19 Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Makiig new friends or spending time with old ones.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trip with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Just like that...

Darkness ocassionally broken by soft lightning.
Clouds with silver lining.
Gentle wind playing with my hair.
Making breathing (and probably living) possible.
I am listening to this.
Thinking...or feeling...
I am just like that...

asking nasty questions
building castles in the sky
being cruel and sarcastic
blaming myself
feeling too much


My curse is to be distant.
Detached, separated and ever-evasive.

loving beautiful things sometimes can hurt.
but can't pain be beautiful?


...I am so tired...
But a man has to do what a man has to do.

Good friends we had...good friends we've lost

A lot of friends are leaving these days. Closer friends, or just people that I like. People that have become a part of my life in a way.
Torill...Nata...Isabel...
soon Neeraj...Francois...Henk...Julie...Peter...Burcu...Jenny...
Our "home" in Gurgaon is constantly changing, and I am trying to keep a stiff upper lip, cause if I start to cry about everyone who is leaving, the monsoon will look like a drizzle.
So many people leaving made me think about all my friends I have around the world.
And brings back so many sweet memories, but also raises the question...
Will I be able to spend quality time with these people again? How much have we changed? Will I be able to call them friends?
It will never be the same again...
But why does it have to be the same?
You tought me one important lesson - live for the moment and cherish every single second you have spent with the people you love. Now this lesson is back to remind me I should learn to let go.
Neeraj said something really beautiful:"I want to be happy and to be sad, to enjoy every minute of the happiness and sadness, cause only then I will know I have lived"
We meet people for a reason...maybe this is the answer to a long-posted question.

Falling in love again...

I am falling in love...almost every day...
With peoples' smiles.
I love the smile of the Barista boy in the morning - makes the coffee taste even better:)
I love latin smiles - so big and full of happiness...as if life is...just a game:)
I love children smiles.
I love ordinary people, everyday smiles.
I love smiling eyes.
I love big grins and tiny, shy smiles.
And if you SMILE while reading this post, I will be more than happy :)
Seems happiness is not so hard to get...

A woman should...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

Happiness

Today was one of the happiest days of my life.
I received so much pure, unconditional love that I feel extremely elevated, and the world bursts out in amazing bright colours.
What happened?
We had a volunteer initiative in Alcatel-Lucent - we brought 70 children from the slums to an amusement/water park.
I was responsible for those two beauties - Monica and Radha:)
So we were chasing around, going on marry-go-rounds, climbing ropes and throwing balls at each other.
Then there was the pool. Splashing water, jumping in it, playing wildly...
I was the first among the adults to get inside. And when one of the guys said that he got inspired by me to jump and play with the kids...it sounded so nice.
I felt a bit sad that I could not answer when "my children" were excitedly pulling me and shouting something in Hindi.
But one thing i knew without having to use any language.
They were happy.
They loved me.
I loved back.
What more do I need to be happy?

Life is about...

...simple things.
Long conversations over a huge cup of Mocca with a German girl that I didn't know a month ago (Thanks Kat:))
Hearty laughs over the stories of a Spanish guy I just met.
Driving back home on a bike.
Writing an e-mail to my friends on the balcony, with the wind blowing.
My new set of bangles.
The challenges at work.
Having spent 1500 Rs on books (Lonely planet guide on India and Love in the time of cholera).
The anticipation of reading Khaled Houseini's "A thousand splendid suns".
Not knowing what will happen to me in one year and still being sure I have so many oportunities.
Having seen Jodha Akbar - a naive 3-hour long love story, I didn't understand any conversation in, as it was all in Hindi.
Learning something new every day.
It is so simple and beautiful.
Then...why do we go and make it complicated.

My "goodnight" song

This is one wonderful LOVE song for saying "Goodnight".
And dreaming that I meet a guy like Robert Downey Jr...aaah
Sweet dreams:)
I just couldn't resist to post the lyrics as well.
Goodnight lovers:)
Goodnight dreamers:)

I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated

I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love, that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic

So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough

I have been thinking...

Since I watched "Notes on a scandal" I have been thinking that it is not right to judge people for being cruel.
I think I cannot judge Barbara for being so cruel, since she never understood what it is to be loved.
I cannot judge people around me for being malicious - it is their way to survive, to hide from the others that they are actually as fragile as we all are.
I even cannot judge myself for the contempt I feel towards the person I loved just a few months ago.

"Love is not a competition ...

...but I'm winning"
Keiser Cheifs sing in one of their songs.
Which just reminded me of one favourite "love" songe of mine lately.
It reminds me of love that never happened
Love in Paris
Love on the road
Love in a caravane
Gypsy love
Freedom...
L'amour fou...

My Valentine's day present

...as I hate all the "marketing" and "artificial" ways people "celebrate" love on the 14th of February
...as I am sick of pink, hearts, sugar and teddy bears
...as noone will giv me a present for this day
...as I am quite doubtful about the existence of love
I decided to make myself this present.
Candles.
Simple.
Beautiful.
Burning.
Like hope and desire.

Why do I need love?

I need love not to make my world more beautiful and my life more meaningful.
I need love to help me believe in miracles again...