First days of my new life...

Well...rather confusing I must admit...
I expected it, as Youree (from Winnie the Pooh) once said while sinking into a swamp:)
I knew that after the AIESEC habbit it will be difficult.
I have to take tough decisions, and I am so used to thinking about the others that I have forgotten to think about my life.
There is something so ironic in this self-sacrifice.
Well, so...now - I have to follow my own path...And something is missing. During these four years I have been burning with the idea that I will move the world, that I will have a positive impact ...Well...Now I know - I will find a job, a place to live, maybe love...but something is missing. Where is the impact, why will I do this?Why will I wake up every day and go to work?Why will I work after hours and try to smile when someone is behaving like an idiot?To get money, to have a living standart, to make a career. Why do I need these.
I need only simple things.
Beauty.Tranquility and a Soulmate...and the feeling that I am doing something good to the people around me.
Yet, I guess I should fight for it.Because, sadly...these things must be bought nowadays too.
Tomorrow I will be in Varna and take some time to go to the beach and have some self-reflection there.
I am scared if the first step I make will be in the right direction...Hope the sea has an answer:)