My KARMA

Yesterday I had one of those fits of sadness.
My roomates were sleeping. I lay in the dark room, and, as if my soul was squeezed in a box, struggling to go out. I suffered so much that my body was shaking...
Maybe Vesi was right - physical illness comes from emotional suffering.
I can't believe how I could feel like that. To want to call you so much, but to know that I cannot do it, as you want to forget me.
Do u manage to do it...I don't. It is hard to forget a part of yourself.
Vesi is my guru. She always helps me to understand what I am feeling. She understands me, like nobody else here in Sofia...And I really need this.
She told me that if I know how I feel, the Fate will make a balance in my life. That was Karma. She said that you are also suffering, cause that was life balance. She told me not to be agressive but to approach with love and understanding. But how should I do it? Fear is pushing me to call you...Fear that I lost you, fear that you already forgot about me. But if I call u - that means "being agressive".
I should just wait. Maybe I will forget you. Maybe that must happen.
Maybe you will call me.
Maybe.
I am tired of maybe...I want to be SURE.